


Someone Like You

by omgdaichi



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe, Anal Sex, Angst, I'm Bad At Tagging, Jealousy, M/M, Minor Hinata Shouyou/Kageyama Tobio, Minor Iwaizumi Hajime/Oikawa Tooru, Minor Miya Osamu/Suna Rintarou, Minor Tsukishima Kei/Yamaguchi Tadashi, Pining, Rimming, Smut, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-30
Updated: 2020-10-30
Packaged: 2021-03-08 17:55:59
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,451
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27280810
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/omgdaichi/pseuds/omgdaichi
Summary: Bokuto was the sun and Akaashi was nothing like that, he was nothing like Bokuto...Akaashi would ruin him. He couldn’t love Bokuto. It didn’t matter that he wanted to.
Relationships: Akaashi Keiji/Bokuto Koutarou, Akaashi Keiji/Iwaizumi Hajime
Comments: 6
Kudos: 54





	Someone Like You

**Author's Note:**

> I know Akaashi/Iwaizumi is a crack ship but just go with it okay. I'm in love with Iwaizumi.

Akaashi is fairly happy with his life. He graduated high school and then college. He somehow got a job that was as close as he was going to get to his dream job. He has a beautiful, quaint house with a neighbor that bakes and constantly brings him cookies and bread, or whatever she has leftover for dinner. And on Fridays, when Bokuto is free, he comes knocking on Akaashi’s door. 

“Akaashi!” His smile stretching across his face, eyes bright and so alive that he sucks every bad thought from Akaashi’s mind. He falls into Bokuto’s aura and soaks in his warmth when he brushes past him to come into his house. He’s so happy, pulling out takeout boxes and talking the entire time.

Bokuto is always happy, his eyes always dancing around and telling a story even when he’s just talking about how much he hates his classes while they eat takeout on the couch. Akaashi is only half listening, not yet recharged by Bokuto’s energy yet, but he nods and hums at all the right times. 

By the time they’re ready to go out, Akaashi is smiling too. As they walk up to the bar, Bokuto holds the door open for him and smiles. Bokuto hasn’t changed much since high school, not in any negative way. He’s taller, broader from two years of training on a college-level workout regime. He isn’t as loud, but he’s never quiet. Akaashi is quiet enough for the both of them, and he loves hearing Bokuto’s laugh because his eyes crinkle and he is so, so beautiful- Akaashi stops himself there. He breathes once, twice, and takes a step away from Bokuto’s side. Because he can’t think about Bokuto like that. 

“Hey, baby.” Akaashi blinks when Iwaizumi pulls him in and kisses him. He sighs against his mouth and looks up into soft green-grey eyes. 

Akaashi’s cheeks are hot, and he pulls back before looking around the bar. “Aren’t you-”

“On break.” Iwaizumi grins but pulls back. “You guys eat already?”

Akaashi looks over and sees Bokuto watching him, but he looks away before he can meet his eyes. He swallows and sits back in his chair, following Iwaizumi as he walks around to the other side of the bar. He’s handsome, has great arms, and he is so very good to Akaashi. 

“We got takeout.” Bokuto’s voice breaks Akaashi’s focus, and he nods. “Sorry I forgot to bring you some.”

Iwaizumi waves him off. “It’s fine, I was just going to see if you wanted Tanaka to grill up a burger or something.” Akaashi smiles at him. Iwaizumi is very thoughtful, he’s a great man. “What are you thinking tonight? Beer, maybe some shots?” He winks at Akaashi and he rolls his eyes. 

“How about a water?” 

Iwaizumi chuckles and grabs a glass. “You, Bokuto?”

Bokuto orders a beer, and Iwaizumi is called away by another customer. Akaashi sips his water and tries to relax a little. They only come here when Iwaizumi works on Fridays for this exact reason. He knows Bokuto doesn’t like Iwaizumi. It sucks, mostly for him, because Bokuto is his best friend and Iwaizumi is his boyfriend. Iwaizumi doesn’t necessarily like Bokuto either, but he’s not as gruff as Bokuto is around him. It was a weird phenomenon, seeing Bokuto be anything but kind to someone. It wasn’t that he was mean to Iwaizumi, but he didn’t laugh at his jokes, he didn’t really try to make conversation at all. And for a long time, Akaashi had no idea why. 

_“Because you should be with me, Akaashi.”_

Bokuto bumps his shoulder, and Akaashi meets his eyes. “You okay?”

Akaashi nods and takes another drink. “Yeah, sorry. I think work’s just stressing me out.”

“Deadline coming up?”

“Yeah,” Akaashi sighs and rests his elbow on the counter so he can hold his head up with his hand. “End of this month we have to push for this next chapter but the writer’s being a little difficult. He has it done, he’s just a perfectionist, even though it’s my job to obsess over the details.”

Bokuto laughs quietly and takes a long pull from his beer. “You’ll make it, ‘Kaashi.” Akaashi pretends not to notice when Bokuto presses his knee against his under the counter. “You always do. You’re the best at your job.”

Akaashi hums. “Should you be drinking beer?”

“One’s not gonna kill me.” Bokuto picks at the label on the bottle. “Just need a little something for now. I’ll switch to water in a second.”

Akaashi sees him flick his eyes over towards Iwaizumi, but he doesn’t comment on it. He’s been doing that a lot lately, pretending not to notice certain things. 

_“Every time he touches you I want-I have to hold myself back from wanting to pull you back to me.”_

“Are you ready for tomorrow?”

Bokuto looks at him and smiles. “Yeah, I’ve been ready to kick their asses since last year.”

Akaashi laughs because Bokuto really has been. “How about the rest of the team? Hinata must be excited to see Kageyama.”

“Not sure if excited is the right word.” He takes another sip of his beer and his foot taps against Akaashi’s. “They’re either going to fight or makeout when they see each other. I don’t know which one I want to see more.”

“They’ve been pathetically pining over each other since high school.” Akaashi laughs, but his smile falls when Bokuto meets his eyes. He opens his mouth to say something, but Bokuto changes the subject. 

They talk for a little while longer, the bar getting a little more packed as the night moves along. Bokuto has gotten closer, and Akaashi hasn’t told him to stop because he shouldn’t have to. But Iwaizumi’s back, so he looks at him instead. 

“Want something stronger yet?” Akaashi shakes his head and his eyes flutter shut when Iwaizumi reaches across the bar and pushes his glasses back up his nose. “Eyes bothering you today?”

He nods and gives him a tired smile. “Just a little. I was emailing that writer all day.”

“Still not answering?” Akaashi’s face must give him away. “Want me to give him a shakedown?”

Akaashi laughs and rolls his eyes fondly because he knows Iwaizumi is joking. “I think I can handle it.”

Iwaizumi smirks and there’s a fire in his eyes which means he’s probably getting fucked tonight. “I know you can.”

Bokuto clears his throat and Akaashi’s face burns when he looks over and sees him not looking at either of them. “Can I get a water?” Iwaizumi schools his features and grabs him one. “Thanks.”

“No problem.” He says before looking back at Akaashi. “You want me to get some dessert to bring home?”

Akaashi blinks at the word “home.” Imaizumi doesn’t live with him, he has his own place and they’re both perfectly comfortable with living apart. Their relationship is still fairly new, and he’s thrown off for a moment before he sees Imaizumi glance at Bokuto. 

_“You can’t tell me you didn’t know, Akaashi. Everyone knows. You’re smart. You have to have known that I-”_

“Sure.” He nods and Iwaizumi smiles before he gets back to work. Akaashi’s back is bumped and the person calls out an apology. “Want to go soon?” Bokuto immediately says yes. Akaashi mentions saying goodbye to Iwaizumi, and Bokuto tells him he’ll wait outside until he’s done. 

Iwaizumi finally sees Akaashi trying to wave him down, and he has his coworker man the bar for a second before he pulls Akaashi into the back. He doesn’t expect the kiss, but he leans into it and relax when Iwaizumi cups his face. Loud laughter reminds him of where he is, and he pulls back. “What was that for?” he whispers. 

“Just cause.” Iwaizumi’s jaw flexes, and Akaashi gives him a look. “Sorry.”

“Hajime.”

Iwaizumi smiles weakly and kisses his forehead. “I’ll see you tonight, okay?”

Akaashi nods and watches him go back out. He takes another breath before he pushes the door open and makes his way out of the bar. Bokuto is leaning against the building, signing a hat for someone and smiling big, but not as bright. The fan is excitedly saying something, and Akaashi is once again reminded that Bokuto is loved by so many. He looks over at Akaashi and suddenly he’s bright again. Akaashi shoves his shaking hands into his jacket pocket and walks over to him. 

Akaashi rolls off Iwaizumi and flops onto his back. He tries to catch his breath as he stares up at the ceiling while Iwaizumi discards the condom and then rolls over to lay halfway on top of him. “You’re sweaty.” Akaashi mumbles. 

“So are you.” Akaashi hums and runs his fingers through Iwaizumi’s hair. They stay like that for a while, until Akaashi thinks he’s asleep. But Iwaizumi shifts and he looks down to see him frowning. “Are you going to his game tomorrow?”

Akaashi sighs and drops his hand. “Do we have to talk about Bokuto right now?”

Iwaizumi sits up and looks down at him, his eyes are soft, and he is so very handsome. Akaashi wishes he could reach out and cup his face, maybe to comfort him, but he doesn’t move. “It’s just a question, Akaashi.”

“I don’t know.” He looks away and pulls the blankets up over him. “If Suna goes, maybe.”

Iwaizumi gets under the blankets too and hits his pillow a few times. He hates Akaashi’s bed, says it’s too soft. “Suna always goes,” he mutters, turning onto his back to stare at the ceiling too. 

The room falls quiet, but Akaashi lets Iwaizumi tangle their fingers together. He squeezes them once, and Iwaizumi squeezes back before he turns his back to him for the night. Sometimes Akaashi wishes he never told him. 

...

_Bokuto and Akaashi were drunk. He knew it was a bad idea, but he had just finished his deadline and Bokuto wanted to take him out to celebrate. Iwaizumi poured them shots and laughed when Akaashi crawled over the table to kiss him, but he called a cab after that and somehow he and Bokuto made it into his house unharmed. They stumbled to the couch, Bokuto flopping down first and Akaashi after him. He leaned heavily into his side and sighed as he laid his head back._

_“You’re warm.” Akaashi had murmured, letting his head fall to Bokuto’s chest. “Smell good.” Bokuto hadn’t said anything, and Akaashi relaxed against him. “Thank you for tonight.”_

_Bokuto hummed something, but Akaashi was listening to his heartbeat. He felt a hand on his head and then fingers push through his hair, and he moaned when he felt nails on his scalp. He laughed at the sound and blinked up at Bokuto who was watching him with round eyes. “Feels good.”_

_This wasn’t new for them. When Akaashi gets stressed, he gets headaches, and a good scalp massage is his kryptonite. When they were in high school, he would lay his head on Bokuto’s lap and let him massage his scalp while he watched whatever anime he was into. Akaashi didn’t mind it when Bokuto touched him, and Bokuto never hesitated to do so._

_But Bokuto was never this quiet. Akaashi sat up a little and looked over at his friend. Bokuto was staring at the TV that wasn’t currently on, and he only looked over when Akaashi poked his chest. “What’s wrong?”_

_Bokuto blinked at him, the furrow in his brows relaxing, but only slightly. “Nothing.”_

_“You’re lying.”_

_Bokuto shifted and his hand fell from Akaashi’s head. “It’s nothing, Akaashi.”_

_Akaashi leaned back on the couch but didn’t take his eyes off Bokuto. “Did I say something to make you grumpy?”_

_“I’m not grumpy.”_

_“You are.”_

_“No, I’m not.”_

_“Yes, you-”_

_“Knock it off, Akaashi.”_

_Akaashi blinked, completely taken back. Bokuto was glaring down at his hands that were clenching and unclenching in his lap. Bokuto only got like this when something was really bothering him, when something was welling up in his chest for a long time, like when he was scared to tell his parents he’d be playing volleyball instead of going to college. But he was never like this towards Akaashi._

_“Talk to me.” Akaashi laid his hand on Bokuto’s forearm, and Bokuto immediately looked up at him._

_“I can’t.” Akaashi frowned. “I can’t talk to you about it, and that’s the worst part.”_

_“I don’t understand.”_

_Bokuto sighed and pulled his arm away from him. Akaashi felt his heart lurch. Bokuto never pulled away from him. “Can we just drop it?”_

_Akaashi set his jaw. “No.”_

_“Akaashi-”_

_“You’re mad at me so just tell me whatever I did wrong.”_

_“I’m not mad at you.”_

_“Then what are you mad at? Who are you mad at?”_

_Bokuto was looking at him now. His jaw was tight and he would have looked pissed if it weren’t for the desperate look in his eyes. “Don’t make me talk about this.”_

_“Who are you so mad at that you won’t even talk to me about it?” Something flashed in Bokuto’s eyes, and Akaashi sat a little straighter. “Did Iwa say something?”_

_Bokuto looks away, and Akaashi gets more confused. “What the-what did he say? Bokuto, he probably didn’t mean anything by it- I thought you liked him?”  
A cold laugh came from Bokuto, and Akaashi hated it. Bokuto didn’t laugh like that. “I don’t like him, Akaashi.”_

_“What?” His voice sounded weak, and he felt his hands go cold. “Why not?”_

_“Because you should be with me, Akaashi.”_

...

Akaashi wakes up alone. Iwaizumi texts him as he’s making his morning coffee that he had to let his neighbor’s dogs out because he was out for the weekend. He frowns at the message. Oikawa is Iwaizumi’s neighbor, so why didn’t Iawizumi just tell him he had to help Oikawa? He set his phone down and ignored it. He’s too tired to overthink anything, and he has to send a few more emails before he did anything else. 

By the time he’s done with his work for the day, it’s about time for him to get ready. He showers and attempts to do his hair before giving up and just letting it curl today. While he gets dressed, Suna texts him and asks if he should pick him up for the game. Akaashi texts him his address and quickly finishes getting ready so he can make a quick lunch before Suna arrives. 

“You look like shit.” Suna greets him as Akaashi slid into the car. 

Akaashi rolls his eyes. “Shut up.”

“Aw burn your coffee this morning?”

“Osamu didn’t fuck the bitch out of you last night?”

Suna laughs and starts to pull onto the street. “You’re hilarious, Akaashi. You know I’m the top.”

Akaashi smirks and leans back into the seat. “You’re annoying.”

“Yeah,” Suna agrees and takes a right. It’s quiet save for the music playing, and Akaashi lets himself start to relax. “So, how are you and Bokuto?”

There it is. “Fine.”

Suna isn’t convinced. “It’s been two weeks. You guys haven’t talked about it since?”

Akaashi is suddenly very tired. “No. And we’re not going to.” He looks out his window and wonders if he opened the door and jumped, would he make it?

“That’s stupid.” Akaashi rolls his eyes. “Why don’t you just fuck and get over with it?”

“Because I have a boyfriend.”

“Okay, dump him.”

Akaashi whips his head around to look at Suna. “What the fuck?”

Suna rolls his eyes and slows to a stop. “What? You barely even like the guy.”

“That’s not true.”

“You never talk about him.” Suna looks at him and pokes at his shoulder. “But you always talk about Bokuto.”

“Bokuto is my best friend. I’ve known him longer than Iwaizumi. That’s it.”

Suna turns back to the road when it’s his time to turn. “Then what’s your favorite thing about Iwaizumi.”

Akaashi opens his mouth and immediately closes it. He looks back out the window and thought to himself. Iwaizumi is a great guy, he is. He’s funny, and maybe Akaashi didn’t always laugh, but he’s kind and all his friends like him well enough. He’s a good kisser and they have fun in bed. Iwaizumi also brings him coffee when he’s not working and sometimes he gives him a massage… though that usually leads to Akaashi getting annoyed or sex. 

“He’s...He’s nice.”

“He’s nice.” Suna drones back to him. “Really?”

“What’s wrong with nice?” Akaashi asks, offended. “What’s wrong with a nice, extremely hot man?”

Suna shrugs. “Absolutely nothing.” He turns into the parking lot. “What’s your favorite thing about Bokuto?”

Akaashi looks away and clenches his jaw. His smile comes to his head first. The way he lights up every room he walks into, how his energy is endless and contagious. He can’t go more than a few minutes without feeling lights, without smiling or laughing when Bokuto is around. Bokuto’s also extremely caring. He’d drop anything he was doing to help his friends or really anyone. He’s the type of person to give his lunch up to someone who couldn’t afford it, and sure he’d whine about it until he got a replacement for himself but even that was kind of adorable. He also always knew what to do and say when Akaashi was anxious, and he gave the best advice because it was simple and he never felt the urge to lie about anything. He was genuinely honest all the time and his heart was so big that he loved everything with his whole being, even if it was one of his biggest downfalls. 

Suna rolls down the window and Akaashi looks up to see they’re about to pull into the guest parking garage. When Suna parks, he looks over at Akaashi and gives him a small smile, nothing cunning about it, which was rare enough. They weren’t friends, really. They met because Bokuto and Atsumu, Suna’s fiance’s brother, were on the same team together and they would end up sitting by each other at their games. But Suna knew Akaashi enough. 

“Iwaizumi is a good guy, Akaashi. I don’t doubt that.” Suna’s voice is quiet, but Akaashi has to look away. Suna was too good at reading him and it freaked him out. “But I also know Bokuto. And even though he’s about ten times more annoying than the twins combined, I like the guy. And I know you like him too.” Akaashi doesn’t say anything. “It’s gross, actually.”

They get out of the car and start to walk towards the entrance. Akaashi feels uneasy and he kind of wants to throw up, but Suna grabs his arm just as they see Osamu waving by the door. “Akaashi, look.” He sighs and Akaashi turns to face him. “I know I don’t know you all that well, but I know you well enough that your only reason not to do what you want is because you’re overthinking it.”

Fuck him for being right. He sighs and gently pulls his arm back. “Let’s go. We’re going to miss the start.”

Suna lets him go, but Akaashi wishes he never came.

...

_“Bokuto, that’s not funny.”_

_Bokuto wasn’t laughing. Akaashi’s hands were shaking. He wanted to throw up._

_“Every time he touches you I want-I have to hold myself back from wanting to pull you back to me. It drives me crazy Akaashi.” His voice was trembling, but his eyes were so focused, Akaashi couldn’t look away. “You can’t tell me you didn’t know, Akaashi. Everyone knows. You’re smart. You have to have known that I-”_

_“I didn’t know!” Akaashi shouted, and his voice cracked when he tried to suck in a breath. “Bokuto how could I-why are you doing this to me now?”_

_Bokuto’s eyes were filling with tears and Akaashi felt his own start to burn. “I was doing good, ‘Kaashi. I was hiding it and everything was fine until you met him and now I have to see him whenever we go there and-and I have to see you kiss him and smile at him and I want to be that.” He leaned forward and Akaashi couldn’t move back even if he wanted to. Bokuto grabbed at his hands and he felt himself sob. “I want to be with you. I’m-I’m in love with you, Akaashi.”_

...

When Akaashi gets home, he’s exhausted. Bokuto’s team won and while he was happy for him, he had to back out of the after-party. His head was pounding and he couldn’t be around Bokuto right now, especially not a happy, possibly drunk Bokuto. He’d get sucked into his little happy orbit and he couldn’t afford to do that right now when he was two seconds away from fucking up his love life. He dropped his keys into the dish by his door and went for the wine cupboard. It wasn’t really his love life. He didn’t love Iwaizumi, and truthfully he didn’t know if he could. He was a good man, a great man, but they didn’t fit. Iwaizumi was grumpy, and straight forward, and while their sex life worked, he wasn’t a fool to think that everything else did too. It didn’t fall into place like that. 

His phone buzzes and he sighs. He decided that the universe hates him. 

Iwaizumi is entering his house twenty minutes later, and he looks like shit. When he sits down on the couch, Akaashi hesitates to sit beside him. It’s quiet, and Akaashi feels his palms begin to sweat. He waits, and just as he opens his mouth to ask what’s going on, Iwaizumi speaks. 

“I almost cheated on you.”

Akaashi’s mouth snaps shut, and he sits back. “What?”

Iwaizumi looks like he’s going throw up. “I almost-I didn’t, Akaashi. I just-” he runs a hand down his face. 

“Oikawa.” Akaashi sighs his name, though it was more like a rush of breath that he didn’t really know was going to come out. He didn’t really know what to feel, so he reaches for his glass of wine and takes a sip before he decides to down it. 

Iwaizumi’s leg is bouncing, and Akaashi isn’t sure he’s ever seen him nervous. “We’ve always been close and then we were neighbors and we started hanging out again. He fucked his knee up again and he fell and twisted it wrong and I had to go over and-” He looks at Akaashi now. Akaashi isn’t sure he slept. “And I was taking care of him and I almost-I almost kissed him.”

Akaashi looks away then. His heart feels weird, it’s racing but it’s not falling to his gut like he expected it to. Because he knew that Oikawa was someone special to Iwaizumi. They grew up together and Akaashi only came into Iwaizumi’s life a few months ago. “You love him?”

Iwaizumi looks terrified like maybe he hasn’t admitted it to himself yet. “I think I always have.”

Akaashi nods and reaches over to grab his hand. Iwaizumi squeezes it back and tugs Akaashi over to him. He sighs when he hugs him, and Akaashi feels him shudder as he breathes against him. “This isn’t because of-”

Imaizumi shakes his head, and he pulls back to wipe his eyes. “No, it’s-maybe a little.” He clears his throat and Akaashi reaches out to wipe at his tears. He’s never seen Iwaziumi cry before, so he just does what Bokuto would do. His heart clenches. “I think when you told me what he said… I thought about-about you two together. And then I thought about Oikawa and-” he shakes his head again. “Do you think you could love me, Akaashi?”

Akaashi meets his eyes, and they both know the answer. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be.” Iwaizumi chuckles, and Akaashi smiles a little, though he still feels awkward, like maybe he should feel worse. “I don’t know that I can love anyone but him.”

They talk, if only to fill the awkward tension in the room, and when it’s time for him to go, Akaashi hugs him goodbye. Iwaizumi asks if they could keep in touch, and Akaashi agrees, though he isn’t sure that either of them will keep that promise. 

...

_The door slammed shut and Akaashi flinched at the sound. He stared at the couch where Bokuto had just been, and suddenly he can’t breathe. His throat closes up and when he gasped for breath, his voice sounded ragged and worn, like he’d been screaming for hours. A sob wracked his body. He fell into the couch cushions and tried to calm himself down, but the couch smelled like Bokuto and he only cried harder._

_His heart was pounding so loudly that he was terrified it would burst through his chest. That thought only made him worry more, and he fumbled for his phone. His fingers typed out a number and he dropped it when he realized he was going to call Bokuto. He was stupid, he was beyond stupid and he had no idea what he was doing._

_Bokuto was the sun and Akaashi was nothing like that, he was nothing like Bokuto. He couldn’t love someone like that, he couldn’t even love someone like Iwaizumi, who was good and kind and-and Akaashi would just ruin it. He would ruin Bokuto and he wouldn’t love him how he deserved to be loved. He figured all that out after their first year in high school together, when Akaashi couldn’t keep up with his energy and yelled at him to leave him alone. Bokuto had cried and they didn’t talk for two days and Akaashi knows that if they were to be together now, he’d do worse. He was grouchy and he could be mean and Bokuto… Bokuto was light. Akaashi would ruin him. He couldn’t love Bokuto. It didn’t matter that he wanted to._

...

Akaashi texts Suna about Iwaizumi. He doesn’t know why he does it, maybe because he wants it to be set in stone. He leans back on his couch and pours himself another glass of wine. He wishes he felt something, maybe even guilt, but he doesn’t. Iwaizumi is going to go home and probably barge into Oikawa’s apartment and kiss him like he’s wanted to for years. Akaashi doesn’t feel anything but a pang of jealousy. It makes his hands sweat. He’s not jealous of Oikawa, he’s not jealous of Iwaizumi, he- Akaashi sets his glass down on the table and pulls himself up off the couch. He needs fresh air, right now. 

One of the reasons he picked this house was because of the attic that led out onto the roof. It’s only a small flat area, but he would come here and sit when he needed a break from work and just about anything else. He looks up into the sky and breathes in and out as he tries to remember which constellations are which. Bokuto would know. 

Akaashi tucks his knees up to his chest and leans his head down against his arms. Bokuto’s voice comes to his mind and he closes his eyes. He didn’t know when it happened. Maybe it was when they first met and Bokuto had begged him to set for him, his eyes wide and excite like Akaashi was a new toy to play with. Or maybe it was when Bokuto graduated and he realized that he wasn’t going to see him every day anymore. Or maybe the time that Bokuto cheered so loudly for him when he got his diploma, so embarrassingly loud that his classmates asked if that was the Bokuto he always talked about. Or maybe the countless times that Bokuto was there for Akaashi, with his gentle hands and big eyes that only looked at him. It could have been when Bokuto laughed at his stupid jokes or gave him space when he was too tired, or maybe it’s when he didn’t give him space and just wrapped him up in his arms and waited until Akaashi was done yelling at him. When he let him go and asked Akaashi what was really wrong. 

Bokuto has been a part of his life for nearly ten years now, and Akaashi can’t pinpoint the exact moment his heart made a space just for him, but it’s there and it feels like it could swallow him whole. And the worst part is, the idea of it didn’t even hurt. He realizes he’s crying when he feels how wet his sleeve is, and he laughs to himself. He’s stupid, really. He’s been himself around Bokuto for years and Bokuto still wanted to be around him. He is still just as bright as he was when he first met him. Bokuto still loves him. 

“Akaashi?”

Akaashi looks up and sees Bokuto’s hand first, reaching for him, then his eyes, wide and round. Open and inviting. 

“What are you doing here?” He draws in a shaking breath and reaches up, shuddering when Bokuto pulls him up close to his chest.

“Suna told me what happened.” Akaashi’s legs are asleep, and he wonders how long he’s been out here thinking of the man that’s now in front of him. “I had to- can we-”

Akaashi doesn’t know what he wants, but he nods anyway. He would give Bokuto anything. He doesn’t expect Bokuto to loop Akaashi’s arms around his neck, or for his hands to settle on his hips. Still, Akaashi’s hands lock around the back of his neck, and Bokuto brings their bodies so close that he can feel Bokuto from head to toe. He presses his head to Bokuto’s chest and draws in a few breaths. Bokuto smells like warmth and a bit like beer and sweat, but Akaashi focuses on the cologne he’s been wearing since high school. 

“I’ve wanted to dance with you since high school,” he whispers, his voice hesitant. “When we went to Tsukki’s wedding.” Akaashi remembers. Bokuto looked amazing and Akaashi watched him laugh and talk to everyone there, even the people he didn’t know. Yamaguchi had sat down next to him and mentioned how good they looked together. Akaashi didn’t correct him. 

He closes his eyes when Bokuto rests his head on the top of his and starts swaying lightly. There’s no rhythm to it, but Akaashi is instantly comforted. His cheeks are still wet from crying, but he’s warm enough in Bokuto’s arms that he doesn’t mind the slight chill from the wind.

“Bokuto…” He doesn’t know what he wants to say, maybe thank you or something as crazy as I love you. He feels Bokuto press a kiss to the top of his head. 

“It’s okay, Akaashi.” He mumbles, voice rumbling through his chest. Akaashi pulls back to look at him, his eyes are tired and Bokuto is so bright. “You don’t have to say anything.”

Akaashi’s hand makes it’s way from behind Bokuto’s head up to his cheek. His face is a little cold, and he leans into Akaashi’s touch, his eyes drop closed for a moment and his hands squeeze Akaashi’s waist once before he holds them there. When he opens his eyes they’re darker, half-lidded and still just as beautiful. 

“I don’t know what I’m doing,” Akaashi whispers, brushing his thumb against Bokuto’s cheekbone, stepping impossibly closer. “I think I-” Bokuto’s leaning closer, his breath warm against Akaashi’s lips. 

“Love me?” Bokuto’s voice is the quietest he’s ever heard it, and Akaashi craves him. Bokuto kisses him, a light brush of his lips against Akaashi’s before he presses harder, and Akaashi thinks this must be that feeling. That feeling they talk about in books, that they cry over in movies, that everyone searches for. He’s found it up here on his rooftop in the arms of the sun in the form of a man who kisses him like he’s starved. “I love you, Akaashi. I’ll say it enough for the both of us.”

Akaashi gasps against Bokuto’s mouth and melts against him. Bokuto’s tongue is warm and slips past his parted lips to slide against his own. His hand slides back into Bokuto’s wild hair and he tugs just as Bokuto squeezes his hips and pulls him closer. Bokuto’s hands slide under his t-shirt, up his back, and Akaashi groans as he sucks on his tongue. He feels good, he feels so good, and Akaashi is hot everywhere. His other hand travels down to Bokuto’s chest and his abs before he can slip his hand under Bokuto’s shirt. 

“Shit,” Bokuto breaks the kiss but keeps his face close enough to press a kiss to the corner of Akaashi’s mouth. “Inside. Let’s go-”

Akaashi nods and lets Bokuto tug him back inside through the open window. His feet touch the ground and Bokuto is cupping his face and kissing him again. He breathes in deep and Akaashi blinks slowly when he pulls back again. They meet each other’s eyes and Akaashi wants nothing more than to look into those eyes forever. 

Bokuto steps back and keeps his eyes on Akaashi while he pulls his shirt off. Akaashi takes him in, freely now. Bokuto is beautiful, his body is absolutely ridiculous, and his eyes almost glow in the minimal moonlight. Akaashi’s breath is coming faster now, as Bokuto steps forward. He looks predatory and Akaashi is absolutely willing to be his prey. He doesn’t hesitate to touch him, it’s all he can think about, running his hands over taut skin and his strong chest. “Bokuto-”

“Can I see you too?” He asks, fingers playing at the hem of Akaashi’s t-shirt. He nods and Bokuto pushes it up and off of him. “Gorgeous.” He whispers, hungry eyes running over Akaashi’s body. He shudders and Bokuto smiles, “You are, Akaashi. The most beautiful person I’ve ever seen in my life.”

Bokuto kisses him again, and Akaashi is putty in his hands. He runs his hands over any part of Bokuto he can reach while the other man leads him back towards the bed. Bokuto spins them and he guides Akaashi down until he’s in the middle of it, his head falling back onto the pillows. Bokuto is above him, his eyes tracking every movement, his tongue darting out to lick his lips before he kisses Akaashi’s lips. He lowers his body down and Akaashi groans at the feeling of their arousals pressing together. Bokuto sucks at his bottom lip and Akaashi’s hands fly to his hair, to his shoulder, his chest. His hips hitch up and Bokuto pulls back to curse before ducking down to kiss Akaashi’s neck. 

His lips are soft, tongue insistent, and when he bites and sucks, Akaashi’s mouth falls open, soft sounds escaping on their own until Bokuto makes his way down to his chest. He whimpers when Bokuto’s tongue swipes across his nipple, and Akaashi chokes out a moan when he closes his lips around it and sucks. “B-Bokuto-” Bokuto pulls back and kisses him again, his tongue licking into his mouth as his hips roll down against him. “Bokuto, please.”

Bokuto nods and goes back to Akaashi’s other nipple until Akaashi cries out again. He wants more. He’s tired of teasing. Bokuto gets the message and kisses down his stomach, leaving small marks as he goes. Akaashi nods when he looks up before unbuckling his jeans and pulling them down with his boxers. His cock springs up and slaps against his stomach, and Bokuto doesn’t hesitate, his eyes hungry, as he licks a strip up Akaashi’s cock. 

“Fuck-” He throws his head back when Bokuto’s mouth closes around his tip and sinks down, down, down, until Akaashi feels him hit the back of his throat. His legs twitch, but Bokuto pushes his hips down into the mattress and swallows around him. “Bokuto- I can’t-” Bokuto bobs his head a few more times before he pulls off and gives Akaashi a smirk before he settles between his legs. “What are you-” Bokuto pushes Akaashi’s legs up towards his chest and Akaashi’s right-hand flies down to Bokuto’s head when he feels his tongue on his hole. “Oh my god.”

Bokuto moans and presses his face closer, his tongue hot and wet against Akaashi’s hole, he whimpers and tugs when he sucks, prodding his tongue inside. His legs feel weak, and when Bokuto grunts and spreads him wider, Akaashi feels tears well up in his eyes. “Fuck me.” Akaashi throws his head back and gives in, rolling his hips, fucking himself on Bokuto’s tongue until he has to reach down and touch himself. 

Bokuto is making filthy noises, sucking and spitting on his hold before licking into him again. Akaashi feels high, and he’s so hard he could come just like this. And then a finger presses in along with Bokuto’s tongue and Akaashi’s toes curl. “Bokuto. Bokuto- I-I-” He looks down and sees Bokuto watching him. His eyes are so bright, hungry and Akaashi is the meal. He doesn’t tear his eyes away when Bokuto pushes a second finger inside. 

His hand falls away from his cock and his arms fall to the sheets of the bed. His fingers scramble against them until he grips them just as Bokuto curls his fingers against his prostate. Akaashi’s back arches off the bed and his cock twitches. “Fuck, you’re so perfect.” Bokuto bites at his thigh and Akaashi falls back onto the bed as Bokuto moves back up to kiss him. He doesn’t even think about where Bokuto’s tongue has been when he presses it into his mouth. Bokuto’s fingers spread and scissor inside of him, stretching him. 

He pulls back when Akaashi whimpers and reaches over to the side table to search in the drawers. He comes back with a bottle of lube and slicks his fingers up before pressing three inside this time. Akaashi tugs Bokuto back to his lips and kisses him, tries to kiss him, but really just breathes into his mouth while he rocks down onto Bokuto’s wonderful fingers. He feels like his body is on fire, his chest is tight, his cock is leaking on his stomach, and he can’t stop wanting Bokuto. 

His legs shake when Bokuto presses up against his prostate again, and Bokuto’s eyes look wild as he pumps his fingers inside of him. “You’re so beautiful, Akaashi.” Akaashi whines and claws at his shoulders. “I wanna be inside of you. Can I-”

Akaashi nods and feels pathetic when he cries at the loss of Bokuto’s fingers. His hands shake and he tries to catch his breath when Bokuto slides off the bed to rid himself of the rest of his clothes. His hair looks even crazier than normal, half up and half down, and Akaashi loves him. His cock is hard and heavy, curving up and Akaashi wants him in his mouth. Bokuto crawls back over to him and kisses from his stomach up to his chest, his neck, and then finally his lips. Akaashi moans and can’t resist leaning down to stroke his cock. Bokuto shudders and fucks into his hand. He swears and says his name, and Akaashi pulls his hand away to reach for the lube. 

He slicks Bokuto up and watches as his eyes flutter close before opening wide when Akaashi pulls back again. He wipes his hand off on the side of the bed and tangles his fingers in Bokuto’s hair to pull him down for another kiss. “Bokuto,” he breathes against his lips, wrapping his legs around Bokuto’s hips. “Make love to me.”

Bokuto nods and guides his cock into Akaashi. They do nothing but breathe until Bokuto is fully seated inside of him, and Akaashi gasps a breath when he clenches around him. Bokuto leans his head down against Akaashi’s forehead and groans when Akaashi does it again. He rolls his hips and Akaashi tugs at his hair, a moan falling from his lips as Bokuto starts to move. Akaashi is so full, and Bokuto is everywhere above him, around him, inside of him; Akaashi runs his hands down his body and grips Bokuto’s ass. Bokuto’s hips stutter and Akaashi meets his eyes. 

He starts to move faster, pushes in harder, deeper, and Akaashi’s eyes flutter shut when he adjusts his angle, thrusts in jus the right spot that a choked noise breaks out of his throat. Bokuto curses and starts to move faster, the sound of his hips slamming against Akaashi fills the room. One of his hands pulls Akaashi’s out his hair and he weaves their fingers together before pushing it above Akaashi’s head, down into the pillows. Akaashi squeezes his fingers hard, his other hand slipping down to cradle the side of his face. They lock eyes again and Bokuto turns his head to kiss his hand before he drops to his elbow and gets even deeper. 

Akaashi rocks his hips up and meets every thrust, his cock trapped between their bodies, brushes against Bokuto’s abs. He grabs at the back of Bokuto’s neck and kisses him again, “Bokuto-”

Bokuto’s hips stutter and he pants against his mouth. “I love you, Keiji.” The tears in Akaashi’s eyes spill over, and Bokuto kisses him again. “Come for me.”

Akaashi’s head presses back into the pillows and three more thrusts send him over the edge. He grips at Bokuto and shakes, his entire body trembling as Bokuto fucks him through it. He comes all over their stomachs and sobs when Bokuto grips his hair and tugs him back up to look at him. “You’re so perfect, you’re so gorgeous, god, Akaashi-Keiji. I love you, fuck-”

Akaashi’s legs are jello now, and his arms don’t want to move, but he squeezes Bokuto’s hand and clenches around him. Bokuto buries his face into Akaashi’s neck, his hips rutting into him, chasing his own release. Akaashi turns his head and nips at Bokuto’s ear. “Come in me.” Bokuto bites at his neck and Akaashi clenches again. “Kotarou-” Bokuto groans and his hips stutter. Akaashi moans, his leg muscles twitching when Bokuto presses even closer and comes, panting into Akaashi’s skin while his hips flex a few more times. He shudders and draws back to kiss Akaashi again. 

They kiss until their lungs burn, and Bokuto slowly pulls out. Akaashi shudders at the wet feeling between his thighs, and Bokuto kisses him one more time before murmuring something about going to the bathroom. Akaashi can’t move, and he vaguely remembers feeling Bokuto clean him up before he slid back into bed and pulled Akaashi to his chest. 

He lets Bokuto kiss his face and before he can help it, he feels tears spill down his face. Bokuto kisses his tears again and then kisses his lips again. “Are you okay?”

Akaashi nods and cups his face, tangles their legs together, and sighs against him. “I’m okay.” Bokuto nudges his nose against his and Akaashi feels himself smile, though it’s small. “Overwhelmed.”

“Me too.” Bokuto hums and kisses his nose, then his forehead, his eyelids, and finally his lips again. “I love you so much, Akaashi.” Akaashi traces his fingers down Bokuto’s face. “I’ve loved you since the first moment I met you.”

Akaashi draws in a shuddering breath. A part of him knew this, he knew that Bokuto’s friendship wasn’t just that. There was never just friendship for the two of them. He was Bokuto’s from the moment he saw him, and Bokuto was his before he even knew it. “I loved you always, Bokuto.” He brushes Bokuto’s tears away and gives him what he hopes is the smile he needs. “I loved you before I knew what it was to love someone like you.”

“Someone like me?”

Akaashi kisses him, closes his eyes, and breathes him in. “Someone as bright as the sun.”

Akaashi doesn’t know when it happened, really. When Bokuto fit himself so perfectly into his life. He thinks that maybe, from the moment they met, Bokuto was destined to. He’s laughing about something Kuroo texted him, and Akaashi knows he’s being too loud, that he really needs to get his work done, but he doesn’t say anything. Bokuto’s head is thrown back and Akaashi smiles when he meets his eyes across their living room. Bokuto grins, his eyes bright, crinkling in the corners. He is so beautiful, and Akaashi lets himself think about it. Akaashi walks over and kisses him fully on the lips, his hand cups his jaw and when he pulls away, Bokuto’s eyes are closed and there’s a smile on his lips. He smiles back when Bokuto opens his eyes and pulls him back in for another one. 

This is how Akaashi loves Bokuto.

**Author's Note:**

> I couldn't sleep and so I wrote this. 
> 
> I don't understand my brain.


End file.
